Man Accused of ‘Stealing Thunder’ During Local Storm

Residents of Drumfankie were left stunned last night after a man was dramatically accused of “stealing thunder” during a particularly rowdy storm that rattled bins, shingles, and at least one elderly spaniel.

Police say the suspect, 39‑year‑old Gavin McBlitz, was found “behaving in a meteorologically suspicious manner” after neighbours reported seeing him sprinting across his garden with a fishing net, a jam jar, and what one witness described as “the swagger of a man who thinks he owns the weather.”

According to locals, McBlitz had been muttering for weeks about “finally getting the recognition he deserves,” but few expected him to escalate to full‑scale atmospheric theft. One neighbour told The Dafty: “Every time thunder cracked, he shouted ‘MINE!’ and swung that net like he was trying to catch a runaway pigeon.”

Officers arrived to find McBlitz crouched behind his shed, clutching a jar labelled “Premium Grade Thunder – Do Not Touch”, which appeared to be glowing faintly. When challenged, he reportedly insisted he was “only borrowing it until the weekend.”

Meteorologists have confirmed that thunder cannot, in fact, be stolen, bottled, or hoarded for personal use, though one expert admitted, “If he’s figured out how, we’d quite like to speak to him.”

McBlitz has been released pending further investigation, though police warn residents to report any unusual weather behaviour, including but not limited to: suspicious rainbows, loitering gusts, or anyone trying to sell thunder “by the scoop.”

The storm, meanwhile, has filed no official complaint.