♈ AriesMay hands you momentum like a toddler handing you a sticky toy: enthusiastic but suspicious. You’ll start something bold around the 9th, then immediately wonder why you’re like this. A stranger compliments your shoes. You pretend it’s no big deal, but it absolutely fuels you for days.♉ TaurusThis month is peak “treat yourself,” and […]
♈ Aries Your energy this month is feral. You’ll attempt three new projects, finish none, and blame Mercury despite Mercury minding its own business. A seagull will judge you harshly on the 14th. Ignore it. It peaked in 2019. ♉ Taurus April brings stability, snacks, and a dangerous overconfidence in your DIY skills. You’ll “fix” […]
Aries (21 Mar – 19 Apr)Love — You’ll attempt a grand romantic gesture that accidentally involves a fire alarm. Surprisingly, it works.Luck — Medium, but only when wearing mismatched socks.Money — A “wee treat” becomes a “big spend” becomes “why is my bank texting me?”.Lottery chances — You’ll get two numbers right and immediately claim […]
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)Love: You’ll attempt emotional vulnerability this month, only to immediately regret it when someone asks, “Are you okay?”Money: A mysterious direct debit labelled “Probably You?” appears. It was you.Luck: You’ll find a £2 coin in a coat you don’t remember buying.—♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)Love: You fall […]
♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)❤️ LoveYou’ll fall head‑over‑heels for someone who matches your energy. Unfortunately, they also match your ability to lose keys, wallets, and emotional composure.💰 MoneyA bold financial move pays off. A different bold financial move does not. Choose wisely.🩺 HealthYou rediscover stretching. Your hamstrings file a formal complaint. ♉ Taurus (Apr […]