Council Accidentally Approves 40-Foot Statue of Local Man Who Filled Out Form Wrong

GLASGOW — A routine planning meeting descended into mild civic chaos yesterday after Glasgow City Council accidentally approved the construction of a 40‑foot bronze statue of a man who only meant to apply for a dropped kerb.

The man in question, 54‑year‑old Partick resident Gavin McCluskie, says he clicked the wrong box on the online form while trying to request easier driveway access. Instead, he unknowingly submitted a “Major Cultural Landmark Proposal,” complete with an auto‑generated artistic brief describing him as “a symbol of modern Scottish resilience, ideally depicted holding a Lidl bag.”

Council officials, who reportedly rubber‑stamped 312 items in 14 minutes to “get home before the traffic,” approved the project without noticing the attached 3D render of a colossal Gavin staring heroically over the Clydeside.

By the time anyone realised, the council had already spent £48,000 commissioning an artist, £12,000 on a feasibility study, and £6.50 on a meal deal for the intern who uploaded the paperwork.

“I just wanted a wee ramp,” Gavin told The Dafty, visibly distressed at the prospect of becoming a landmark. “I’m no’ wanting pigeons landing on my heid at that scale.”

A council spokesperson defended the decision, insisting the statue could “boost tourism, inspire future generations, and distract from the potholes.”

Local reaction has been mixed. Some residents say the statue could become “Glasgow’s answer to Christ the Redeemer,” while others argue it’s “just a massive guy from Partick holding the messages.”

Construction is scheduled to begin next month unless Gavin successfully appeals, though insiders say the council has already ordered a second statue “just in case the first one becomes iconic.”