Former Prince Andrew Claims He Was Only Playing Twister in This Photo – And Someone Photoshopped the Dots Out

LONDON – In a bombshell interview conducted from the safety of a velvet-upholstered panic room, former Prince Andrew has finally broken his silence on the infamous photograph that has haunted royal corridors for years. The image, showing the Duke of York with his arm draped rather enthusiastically around a young woman while another well-known financier grins in the background, is not what it appears, His former Royal Highness insists.

“I was simply playing a spirited game of Twister,” Andrew declared, adjusting his tie with the confidence of a man who has just discovered the perfect alibi. “It was a classic right-hand-red situation. The young lady was reaching for yellow, I believe, and I was merely steadying the mat. The dots – the all-important coloured circles – had unfortunately been airbrushed out by malicious actors. Probably republicans. Or Canadians. Or Canadian republicans.”

When pressed on why the photograph shows no mat, no coloured spots, and no other players contorted into improbable positions, Andrew waved a dismissive hand. “That’s the genius of the edit. They removed every trace of fun. Left only the innocent bit where my hand happens to be near someone’s shoulder. Classic smear campaign. Next they’ll say Monopoly money isn’t real.”

Buckingham Palace declined to comment, though a spokesperson was overheard muttering, “Twister? At his age?” Sources close to the former royal say he is now considering legal action against the estate of the late board-game inventor for failing to include a “get-out-of-scandal-free” card.

Meanwhile, the internet has responded with its usual restraint. Memes of Andrew tangled in a giant Twister grid – with suspiciously missing dots – are already trending under #RoyalSpinCycle.

The Dafty can exclusively reveal that Andrew’s next public appearance will feature him demonstrating “extreme yoga poses” to prove his flexibility remains unimpeachable.