In a revelation that stunned absolutely no one with a driving licence, Glasgow City Council has confirmed that the city’s roadworks are now scheduled for completion in the year 2085—a date chosen, according to insiders, because “it sounded optimistic without being ridiculous.”The announcement came during a press briefing held inside a maze of cones so […]
In a revelation that has shocked absolutely no one who owns a YouTube account, NASA officials have finally confessed that the 1969 moon landing was, in fact, filmed behind a disused carpet warehouse in Glasgow’s East End. The admission came after archivists discovered a misplaced invoice labelled “One Giant Backdrop – Do Not Bin.”According to […]
Residents of the quiet cul‑de‑sac of Broomhill Crescent were left reeling yesterday after a local plumber, 42‑year‑old tradesman and part‑time pie enthusiast Gary “Gasket” McFadden, arrived exactly when he said he would. The event, described by witnesses as “unnerving”, “historic”, and “a sign the simulation is glitching”, has triggered a full societal recalibration. McFadden, booked […]
Scotland woke up yesterday to temperatures so cold that the national average mood dropped by three full sarcasm levels. In a historic first, the Met Office issued a “Yer Havin’ a Laugh” warning, advising citizens to “just stay inside unless you’re built like a penguin or pure desperate for a roll and square sausage.”In Glasgow, […]
