Trump Appoints Tony Blair to Gaza ‘Board of Peace’ – Because Nothing Says Stability Like a Duo of War Legacy Experts

WASHINGTON – In a move hailed as “genius-level trolling” by insiders, President Donald Trump has named Sir Tony Blair to his newly formed Gaza “Board of Peace,” the seven-member supergroup tasked with rebuilding the enclave and ensuring eternal harmony.

Trump, chairing the board himself, declared: “Tony’s the best. Tremendous guy. He did Iraq so well, imagine what he’ll do with Gaza! We’re going to have peace like you’ve never seen – beautiful, luxurious peace. Maybe with golden rubble.”

Blair, knighted for services to controversy, joins Jared Kushner (real estate visionary), Marco Rubio (current Secretary of State), and Steve Witkoff (Trump’s golf buddy turned envoy) in overseeing governance, reconstruction, and “capital mobilization” – code for turning Gaza into the next Riviera, sources whisper.

Critics point out the irony: the architect of one Middle East quagmire advising on another. “It’s like hiring the Titanic’s captain to steer the next ship,” quipped one anonymous diplomat. Palestinian officials, speaking off-record, suggested the board might be better named “Board of Pieces.”

Blair, unfazed, issued a statement: “I’m delighted to lend my unique experience in post-conflict stabilization. Lessons from Iraq will be invaluable – primarily, avoid dossiers and dodgy dossiers.”

Trump dismissed concerns: “Fake news! Tony’s popular everywhere. Arabs love him. Israelis love him. Everyone loves winners.”

The board’s first act? A 20-point plan promising prosperity, deradicalization, and optional timeshares. Phase one: hostages released. Phase two: everyone gets a participation trophy.

As one veteran observer put it: “If peace ever breaks out in Gaza, it’ll be despite this lot, not because of them.”